We’re in the countdown phase, America doing its American thing and choosing a new leader. What’s most at stake? The economy? A woman’s right to choose? The future of The Tea Party? Certainly all of these issues are of key importance, but perhaps nothing looms larger for conscientious liberals such as myself than our hope that America make good on its so called post racial moment and reelect its first African American president. While Obama’s presidency has certainly not healed all wounds created by centuries of slavery and racism, it has definitely gone a long way in proving that we at least have the potential to move beyond the past so as to embrace a future that’s more just.
How proud this makes me feel as an American. And how eased of my inherited guilty conscience as an American who’s undeniably white.
In fact, I’m feeling so good that I’ve decided to share the wealth as it were, spreading the good word to my German friends as they do their best to transcend their own difficult past.
So below please accept my five-point plan for a new and brighter future. I call it The Final Solution to the Final Solution. You can call it a political platform for a New and Improved New Order. Whatever the case, it’s my gift to you. Feel free to do with it as you like.
The Plan:
1.) Nominate a clearly identifiable Jew of Eastern European origin. Someone like Woody Allen. Or if you’re out to get the youth vote, Sarah Silverman. Unlike Allen, she can still crack a pretty good joke.
2.) Make his or her campaign slogan evocative yet simple, something along the lines of Hope or A New Deal. Perhaps Oops, My Bad or Decadent Art for Decadence’s Sake.
3.) Create a series of graphic images that will seize the public imagination, utilizing new media to disseminate them. Therefore, not a swastika, but a Jewish star. And a Facebook page for it. Mass movements need a place where people can congregate.
4.) Pick a campaign song that will seal the deal by tapping into a feel good moment while transposing it onto the one you’re establishing around your candidate. In this case not Clinton’s appropriation of Fleetwood Mac or Reagan’s misappropriation of Bruce Springsteen, but rather an ironic Cri de Coeur, say The Sex Pistols’ Belsen Was a Gas.
5.) Sit back, relax and enjoy the Xanax-like calm that comes with transcending your past. Then follow the leader, your elected, new Jewish fuehrer. Heil Juden! The little mustache is optional.
Die gekürzte deutsche Fassung finden Sie hier.
